Goal Interrupted

The whole point of this ingenious blog was to provide motivation to find me a hubby. It's not that I need to be married in 1 year per se (although that would be freakin' sweet) more so that I need to keep my goal in sight and live accordingly. Before you even say it, I've heard it all:
"It'll happen when you're least expecting it."
"Stop looking and you'll find him."
"Good things come to those who wait."
"Enjoy your single years because once you're married you'll never feel so free again."

Great, thanks. I'm sure all that advice is true for someone and I hate to burst all of your well-intended bubbles. However, my reality is that I'm 29, my grey hair count is now a staggering 7 and last week I attended a Bunco night where I was literally the only single woman. Ask yourself, is there anything in your life that you truly wanted that you didn't work hard for? I didn't think so.

But I digress, the purpose was to keep me on track with my goal and disappointingly I have once again lost my way. No, I didn't stop wanting to walk down that blissful aisle. Instead I veered off path with that all too common danger, The Frex (copyright pending.) The Frex is exactly what you think; the friend who is also the ex. Man, The Frex is tricky. And the thing is, you are more than aware of the risks. Every friend, family member, acquaintance, mental health professional and even other frexes warn you, often. So yes, I knew the possible perils.

The trickiness of The Frex exists in the details not discussed. For example, it's okay to ask about each other's days but not okay to ask about each other's plans this Friday night. Or it's okay to have frex-sex but not hold hands while watching a movie on the couch. Or my personal favorite, it's okay to spend the whole weekend together as long as we don't speak for a couple days afterward.

The Frex and I enjoyed months of Frexship. We cooked dinners, worked on my house, took the pups to the park, attended concerts, watched movies, played games, went shopping, and spent time, well, in bed. I ignored the warnings because dammit, I was having too good of a time to stop. For the first time in my life I chose to simply enjoy the moment, live in the present, carpe diem and whatever else those crazy non-worriers do.

Nevertheless we all know how this tale ends because the truth is The Frexship, while congenial and comfortable and convenient, is, by definition, ill-fated. The heart can only fool itself for so long and our time has run out. One of the Frexes moves on or moves away and the remaining Frex must find a way to accept this totally reasonable yet painful decision. And therein lies the rub.

Right now you may be saying to yourself, Jocelyn, where's the silver lining in all this frightening Frex talk? Well, my friends, the upside is that I'm back in the game. Hubby-hunting is in season and I'm loaded for bear. In fact, I've got a date this week. You never know! Maybe it'll happen when I'm least expecting it!